call (973) 218-1776 wendy.behary@gmail.com

Raves & Reviews

Testimonials and Reviews for Wendy Behary
and ‘Disarming the Narcissist’

Since it’s first publication in 2008, Disarming the Narcissist has become to go-to guide for self-help readers and assigned to clients by therapists seeking to escape the influence and abuse of people with narcissistic personality disorder.

The second edition released in 2013 elevated this already essential tool to the level of self-help classic as it becamse available in over 13 languages, including an audiobook reading. Countless people around the words learned from Wendy’s tips, techniques, and teachings to cope and confront the narcissist in their life.

Based on reader and therapist feedback, this fully-revised third edition of Disarming the Narcissist expands on previous learnings to offer new insight to help escape the pitfalls and traps narcissists set for those around them.

Testimonials

Irv Finklestein, LCSW, Director ADHD 911, New Jersey

Wendy is a unique blend—an empathetic and caring individual and a talented and skilled clinician. She has for many years been an inspiration to her patients and her colleagues.

Irv Finklestein, LCSW, Director ADHD 911, New Jersey

Ava Schlesinger, LCSW, Owner/Director Terra Sky Center for Wellness, Summit, NJ

Within each and every pathologically narcissistic individual sits a vulnerable hidden self who is desperate to be genuinely known and loved. In the face of Wendy Behary’s fearless yet compassionate clinical expertise, clients who are seemingly egomaniacal reveal their inner selves enabling Wendy to guide them toward psychological and interpersonal growth and wellness. She is a master clinician and teacher who has deeply and positively influenced the way I approach my most challenging clients.

Ava Schlesinger, LCSW, Owner/Director Terra Sky Center for Wellness, Summit, NJ

Bob Jaskiewicz, Director and Psychotherapist—Montclair Health Associates, New Jersey

In a world of rapidly advancing psychotherapeutic techniques and understanding, Wendy Behary’s book adds a much-needed resource that represents great clinical depth and experience with this often misunderstood, under-served clientele. It’s a delight to see Wendy Behary’s well-known wisdom and compassion now available to all of us that have struggled with this often misunderstood, under-treated clientele.

Bob Jaskiewicz, Director and Psychotherapist—Montclair Health Associates, New Jersey

Rosemary Erickson, LCSW, New Jersey

Wendy brilliantly captures the mind of a narcissist and skillfully addresses the underlying core issues that affect these individuals. For every narcissistic situation you encounter as a therapist, Wendy has assessed, treated, and lectured on this issue countless times over. Don’t miss her expertise in presenting the complexities of these cases in her new book!

Rosemary Erickson, LCSW, New Jersey

Barbara Levy, LCSW, New Jersey

Wendy Behary brings an astonishingly vast depth of empathy and compassion to her work. By playing to a person’s strengths, along with the use of gentle but firm confrontation, she successfully encourages her clients to reach new heights of emotional maturity. She utilizes these same qualities and more as she trains other clinicians to acquire such skills. Wendy Behary is truly a masterful clinician and teacher.

Barbara Levy, LCSW, New Jersey

Lissa Parsonnet, PhD., LCSW, Psychotherapist/Consultant

Wendy Behary’s ground breaking work with people with narcissism combines wisdom, compassion, and skill to achieve results once thought unattainable. Her clinical acumen, and clarity of thought and writing enable readers to understand, live with, and treat this population with empathy and understanding.

Lissa Parsonnet, PhD., LCSW, Psychotherapist/Consultant

Mary Burke, LCSW, New Jersey

Wendy Behary’s knowledge, understanding, insight, compassion and level of skill in working with narcissism are unparalleled. She is known, respected and sought after in her professional world as a gifted speaker, clinician, teacher and mentor. ‘Disarming The Narcissist’ is an exceptional, comprehensive work that allows her to bring her wisdom and expertise to the larger lay audience…couples and individuals struggling in these challenging relationships. Both the lay and professional reader will come away comforted and empowered—equipped with the coping skills and tools necessary for self care and transformation.

Mary Burke, LCSW, New Jersey

Patrice Fiore, LCSW, Psychotherapist, New Jersey

Nobody understands and can translate to the public the complexities of narcissism better than the author, nobody! She is a top clinician as well as a teacher.

Patrice Fiore, LCSW, Psychotherapist, New Jersey

Dr. John F. Gasiewski, PhD, LCSW, Clinician, Mountainside Hospital Outpatient Behavior Health and psychotherapist in private practice, Montclair, NJ and New York City.

Having been trained by Wendy Behary, I can say that she has a rare combination of nuanced empathy with wonderful mastery of therapeutic practice in general, and Schema Therapy in specific. I look forward to her new book and to further supervision and training with her with great anticipation.

Dr. John F. Gasiewski, PhD, LCSW, Clinician, Mountainside Hospital Outpatient Behavior Health and psychotherapist in private practice, Montclair, NJ and New York City.

William M. Zangwill, Ph.D., Director, EMDR Associates

For the practicing clinician there is perhaps no other group of clients more difficult to work with or that generates more fear and feelings of inadequacy than the Narcissist. In ‘Disarming the Narcissist,’ Wendy T. Behary has provided both the theoretical knowledge and practical advice necessary for clinicians to understand, empathize and, thus, help this challenging group of clients and their partners. Her ‘disarmingly’ straightforward, accessible style and impressive clinical experience make this a very valuable book indeed.

William M. Zangwill, Ph.D., Director, EMDR Associates

Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW—Author of “Why Is It Always About You?”

…a valuable contribution to the growing self-help literature on the fascinating subject of narcissism. Wendy Behary takes the reader step-by-step through a process of understanding our personal triggers to the wounding inherent in narcissistic relations, and then lays out a pathway for personal empowerment and change.

Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW—Author of “Why Is It Always About You?”

Marion F. Solomon, PhD—Author of “Narcissism and Intimacy” and “Lean on Me.”

This is a timely and important book. Wendy Behary offers a uniquely well-articulated exploration of the complexities of living with a narcissist, along with a clear and elegant writing style. ‘Disarming The Narcissist,’ provides a treasure of insightful observations, and strategies to help those working or living with a narcissist. Behary’s wisdom and warm humanity, together with her wide understanding and successful integration of interpersonal neurobiology and Schema Therapy, provides a fresh perspective that will help the reader make sense of relationships that often seem so confusing, and give them tools to do something about it. I recommend this book heartily.

Marion F. Solomon, PhD —Author of “Narcissism and Intimacy” and “Lean on Me.”

Daniel Goleman—Author, Emotional Intelligence

Anyone whose life predicament includes dealing with a narcissist will be well-advised to read Wendy Behary’s book and heed her advice. Disarming the Narcissist offers sound suggestions and keen insights—a breakthrough in one of psychology’s toughest cases.

Daniel Goleman—Author, Emotional Intelligence

Reviews

Dealing Effectively With Narcissists, By Carolee Kallmann, Lpc, Carolee Kallmann, MA.

“This beautifully written guide will help the reader to understand what drives the narcissist, how to identify the various types of narcissists, and, most importantly, how to deal with these difficult people.

Although this is an instructional manual, it is very readable. The author has a way with words, as well as significant experience as a therapist in treating narcissists. It is a “must read” for anyone with a narcissist in his/her life!

Dealing Effectively With Narcissists,
By Carolee Kallmann, Lpc, Carolee Kallmann, MA.

Simple & useful information By J.J. (USA)

This book could be disappointing if you are looking for an in depth explanation and analysis of narcissism. However, if you are looking for ways to help and protect yourself in relation to a narcissist, this book has a lot to offer.

The author gives a compassionate look at what makes a narcissist, in plain and simple terms without a lot of jargon or technical terms. She also helps the reader understand and identify how and why the narcissist manages to push his/her buttons, and gives simple exercises and suggestions for helping free him/herself from it.

I highly recommend this book for the lay-person who may find him/herself caught in a destructive relationship with the chronically self-absorbed narcissist.

Simple & useful information
By J.J. (USA)

Battlefield Instructional Guide By Hope Frbetr (California)

I found this book to be enlightened, instructive and readable. After having read several other “self help” books on narcissism, this book uniquely provides a framework for both understanding the disorder and learning how to deal with it. The prose was masterful, and the methodology which was articulated intriguing. I have hope that this book will improve my ability to understand my own reactions to my narcissistic partner, and aid me in being more effective in dealing with her.

Battlefield Instructional Guide
By Hope Frbetr (California)

Very worthwhile message for those willing to work hard. By SmartCookie (Sonoma, CA)

One of the few books on the market that actually provides practical insight and techniques for handling encounters with an individual who is narcissistic. Most books focus almost entirely on how awful the narcissist can behave to the point of demonizing what is essentially a archaic defense mechanism learned in childhood. The author spends considerable time on what you, as the non-narcissist, get out of the relationship, how you pick up the other end of the rope, and the importance of understanding your own hot buttons (which narcissist’s are almost supernaturally good at triggering) rather than continuing the status quo by responding with your own defensive patterns that go nowhere but bad. This book is asking a lot of it’s readers; that they understand the concept of schemas and that they grow up emotionally and approach their life, and the narcissist’s they may love or encounter, from a place of strength, knowledge, maturity, and wisdom. If you want another book that outlines how horrible narcissists are and how you are their unwilling victim, you will not appreciate this book. If you are willing or interested to learn about yourself and looking at your own part of the dance, such that through your own growth and modeling the relationship, even with a narcissist, has a chance to improve, then this book is for you. Bravo.

Very worthwhile message for those willing to work hard.
By SmartCookie (Sonoma, CA)

Highly effective and beautifully written By Dr. George Lockwood

I have over 25 years of full time practice as a therapist and have had extensive training in psychoanalysis, cognitive therapy and schema therapy (the approach upon which this book is based). This book does justice to the full depth and complexity of Narcissism. It does not offer simplistic advice or a quick solution that, like chewing gum, seems great at the start but quickly fades. With warmth, a delightful sense of humor and compassion, this author takes you by the hand and introduces you to the key strategies we have found effective in dealing with, and overcoming, narcissism. This book is clear, practical, and enjoyable to read. It will take time, effort and repeated study to fully grasp all that is offered but I can assure that your effort will be well rewarded since this author has obviously “done her homework” and truly knows. Upon first read, some of the strategies may seem difficult to execute. This is because they are built upon a blending and layering of skills and knowledge involving the heart and the mind. This is what it takes to be effective with narcissism. There is not a quick and easy way. I can assure you that if you are not just going through the motions, they work. Similar to learning to play a musical instrument or a new sport like golf or tennis, what can seem daunting at the start will eventually be in your grasp if you break it into the steps you need and gradually put it all together. Some of us will be a quick study and some of us will benefit from additional “coaching”. The author provides useful links for the latter.

I, as a seasoned therapist, have learned a great deal from this book and find it making a significant difference in my work. I will be returning to it repeatedly myself.

Highly effective and beautifully written
By Dr. George Lockwood

A masterful Guide, By Kathleen O. Kobberger

“Disarming the Narcissist” is a real “GPS” (Global Positioning System) for anyone attempting to navigate on the road of life with the challenging narcissist. This well crafted primer integrates complex theories with human, compassionate and practical applications. The author’s way with words is truly masterful.

A masterful Guide,
By Kathleen O. Kobberger

Insightful & Practical, Easy to understand. A Must Read Book! By Alexandra Spyridaki

Wendy Behary has deep scientific knowledge of her topic and immense clinical experience. They both come in very handy as she writes this insightful book that is also full of practical advice as to how to cope and survive the self-absorbed (and there are so many of them out there, some in disguise!). Even though she uses a lot of hard scientific information, her book is easy to understand by any reader without specific knowledge on the subject. It is a must read kind of book for all those dealing with a narcissist in their lives, but also for anyone intrigued by the complexity of human nature.

Insightful & Practical, Easy to understand. A Must Read Book!
By Alexandra Spyridaki

A jewel of a book By M. Miele “M. Miele”

This jewel of a book presents us with compassionate insight into a narcissist’s behavior and the plight of those close to him or her. In a clear, step-by-step approach the author lays out a path for developing the self-awareness and strength needed to deal with the narcissist in a constructive manner. I would recommend this book to all, including professionals, who are struggling with such relationships.

A jewel of a book
By M. Miele

Workshop / Seminar Feedback

Feedback from clinicians who attend Wendy Behary workshops.
When asked what they liked about Wendy Behary.

“I signed up for this class because I wanted more ideas on working with narcissists, not because I particularly thought I would enjoy it. The presenter was energetic, passionate, and all in all surprisingly terrific. She brought the material to life in unexpected ways.”

“I signed up for this class because I wanted more ideas on working with narcissists, not because I particularly thought I would enjoy it. The presenter was energetic, passionate, and all in all surprisingly terrific. She brought the material to life in unexpected ways.”

specializing in narcissism and high-conflict couples therapy

Wendy Behary

Wendy Behary is the founder and Director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. She has been training professionals and supervising psychotherapists for more than 30 years.

Wendy T. Behary MSW LCSW

Raves & Reviews

For Wendy Behary and Disarming the Narcissist

Judith Beck

“If there is a narcissist in your life, I highly recommend this book! This valuable book offers great insight and concrete suggestions for changing your thinking and responses so you can interact with narcissists more effectively, whether you’re a family member, intimate, friend, coworker, or therapist.”

—Judith Beck, PhD, president of the nonprofit Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy, and author of Cognitive Behavior Therapy

John M. Gottman

“Disarming the Narcissist in its new edition continues to be a useful guide for anyone doing therapy with a narcissist, or even for those in a relationship with such a person. The book is an essential guide for this widespread problem.”

—John M. Gottman, PhD, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Randi Kreger

“In this new edition, Wendy shows you why you feel so lonely and misunderstood in these relationships, and why you keep your own needs tucked away. The insights Wendy Behary provides make this an essential book for anyone in a relationship with a narcissist.”

—Randi Kreger, coauthor of Stop Walking on Eggshells, and author of Stop Walking on Eggshells for Parents

Craig Malkin

“In its third edition, the deeply insightful Disarming the Narcissist is a classic with good reason: it offers survivors of narcissism helpful guidance and protection while never dehumanizing anyone. In that way, it continues to stand out in the now-crowded field of books addressing narcissism.”

—Craig Malkin, PhD, lecturer at Harvard Medical School, and author of Rethinking Narcissism

Karyl McBride

“Using the approach of understanding the psychological makeup of the disorder, Behary accomplishes what seems like an impossible task; strategies to help the reader understand and communicate better with a narcissist are here!”

—Karyl McBride, PhD, author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough?, Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, and Will I Ever Be Free of You?

Susan Stiffelman

“In this third edition, Wendy also addresses the challenges of co-parenting with a narcissist. She beautifully illustrates the power of empathic confrontation—a tool for enhancing a sturdy core self, and cultivating a reliable and effective advocate for our children amid the inevitable power struggles.”

—Susan Stiffelman, author of Parenting Without Power Struggles, and cohost—with Wendy Behary—of the Co-Parenting with a Narcissist online community

Jill Manning

“This latest edition provides up-to-date and practical guidance for not only understanding the problem of narcissism. This book will be a stabilizing and highly recommended resource for anyone who has ever stood in the confusing wake a narcissist leaves.”

—Jill Manning, PhD, licensed marriage and family therapist, researcher, and author of What’s the Big Deal about Pornography?

Now Available

Disarming the Narcissist

Third Edition

by Wendy T. Behary

Preface by Daniel J. Siegel

Foreword by Jeffrey Young

Published by New Harbinger Publications

AUDIOBOOK (2nd Edition)

Schedule Meeting

behary.assist@gmail.com

(973) 218-1776, ext 808

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(800) 748-6273

Contact Wendy

wendy.behary@gmail.com

(973) 218-1776, ext 807

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